Just A Girl

With Long dark brown hairs she waits

wondering what the worlds holds for her fate

staring out with big brown eyes

deep inside she cries

stressing about everything

worrying about every little anything

leaving no time to live

all the while having no time to give

too much to do and no time to spare

it seems as though the world could not care

although her life is stressed and rushed

through it all she keeps it hushed

never wanting to bother anyone

she does her best to be kinds to everyone

she never lets herself be found with a frown

and thus it seems she is never down

fighting unfair battles day after day

gives her plenty of things to say

never speaking her mind

for fear the others might not like what they find

she tries so hard to be liked and fit in

afraid one day her emotions will win

However, your sympathy and worries she needs not

for good qualities- plenty she's got

she can light up anyone's day

in her sweet simple kind of way

with each breath she has an optimistic air

for that she finds is the only way life can be near fair

knowing that in life loyalty is a definite key

a loyal friend she will always be

if ever you are found in time of need

she'll do her best to help with a good deed

though life's cruelties she has had her share

she always finds time to care

through her stress and worries and frowns

never will she dare to bring another down

if you ever find the time to stop and giver her a chance

she'll be such a good friend you'll want to dance

but above all remember this one thing

she values family, friendship, and love above everything

Alone In The World

I can't wait for next year she thought. There will be so much to do and so many people to hang out with. She had recently discovered a whole new world in herself. Joey was ready to take it all in. Nothing was going to stop her from having fun and hanging out this year. She wasn't going to stand on the outside and look in this year. She had made herself that promise. Last year was so hard with the unfortunate family events and hectic schedule. It's time to be me she thought. She finally arrived at her first destination. She walked in to recruitment. What better way to be social then to join a sorority? The week went by and she soon got discouraged. She hadn't been accepted in the one she wanted. She drove home in tears hoping that this year's dream hadn't faded already. A few days passed and she slowly calmed down and decided she wasn't going to break her promise. She would just re-rush in the spring, besides there was that club one of her classes was starting and she was excited about that too. Weeks went by and she remained busy as ever with school and homework and just home life. More family issues arose and she found herself in a lonely place yet again. It's ok she thought. This year will be better. Looking forward to doing more with the group she walked in to class. Yet again she was let down. The group she yearned so much to be a apart had taken off and without any help from her. She seemed to be pushed out of the way. With no one to turn to she silently walked out of class. The next few months became a blur, she barely made it to class and was struggling with every aspect of her life. Silently she let the tears fall every night, wishing her dream had come true. Then on night near Halloween she lay in her bed thinking about her life. About how alone she had become. How no matter how hard she tried it seemed she couldn't push forward. A tear fell down her face, with many more quickly following. She thought to herself, I guess I'm just meant to be alone in the world. What is the point of being in the world when you're all alone? She couldn't think of one and she fell asleep exhausted from her thoughts.
Today we are going to a funeral. No one knows what happened. She was so young and the autopsy showed no sign of damage. The rain poured down and the sky was dark gray. Everyone was saddened. Joey was to young to be gone already. As everyone entered the cemetery they were at a loss for words. Her headstone bore the words she had thought last. The clouds darken and the lightning and thunder sounded louder than ever. There on her headstone was four words that spoke of the pain she held inside and never could bare to share. As the rain worsened the last words everyone had to remember Joey by were Alone In The World

You'll Have To Learn

The air resound with the thickness of the unresolved argument that had just taken place. She lay there still cuddled in his arms,warm tears streaming down her face. She could not believe how all this had aspired from one stupid argument. How could I have even let that bother me she thought as more tears fell onto her pillow. He slowly breathed next to her, holding her like it were any other night. Upon a stranger's glance one would never know he had just uttered possibly the worst words she had ever heard. "You'll have to learn" he began, saying each word as if it were normal. "You have to learn to deal with the pain. Some things in life are tough and they may hurt. But maybe they aren't meant to be. I know I don't make you happy." Rethinking it she couldn't help but let out a sob. How could he even think that? It was the farthest thing from the truth. Sure they argued about stupid things, but what couple doesn't. She couldn't bear to lye so close to him with all these thoughts burning inside her. She gently got up from the bed. Once she had made it silently over top of him, she replaced the cover and set his stuffed animal next to him. With a kiss and a gentle goodnight she retreated to the living room, her very own stuffed animal at her side. She sat down on the couch, feeling no desire to sleep. Everything kept playing over in her head. How could he think that? How can I make him see just how much I love him? I don't want this to be over. . . I can't handle for this to be over..... I need him. Then once again the terrible words sounded in her head ..."You'll have to learn." The words kept cutting deeper, making the spot where he first uttered them bleed through her very shirt. I can't learn I need him she thought, more tears streamed down her face then ever before. I can't learn I just can't ..... Please God don't make me.... She pleaded with the only person awake to listen. Please God, please just help him to understand I need him and love him.... I can't learn. The hours kept passing bye as she lay on the couch thinking about what had just happened. I love him .... Please don't make me lose him.... She begged for hours until she thought she could cry no more. A final tear fell down her already tear streaked face as she drifted off to sleep and heard one last utterance with one final stab of pain .... "You'll have to learn" he said....

Halloween

Halloween is just around the corner. Which is exciting, cause that means the rest of the holidays are shortly after. It's cool! We decorated this past week. At least half of our decorations are up. We love to decorate for holidays. I'm a traditional holiday kinda girl. I think I t makes it more fun that way. So my 20th birthday is in 2 days. I should probably be more excited than I am. It seems that my birthday comes at a bad time every year. Plus it doesn't help that my boyfriend's brother shares my birthday. There's a loaded statement. I'm in a frustrated mood today. I was all complainy to my poor friend Erin today in class. Sometimes I wonder how she puts up with me. It's a wonder. So let's see there's lots I could complain about but I am trying to avoid that. I can't wait for Thanksgiving Break. I already need time off. I seriously need to take a vacation. It seems that on all my time off there is so much to do that I never really rest. My classes are going ok and my house is mostly clean. Ruben and I are ok for now too I guess. Life is ok ... Which is ok ? I think I may have just overused that word today. So on that I am done for today I think. ~ Mia