How Do You Tell?

Alone in the back room Stacey sat staring at the computer screen. There was so much she knew she needed to be doing. But she couldn't help but impatiently wait for the phone to ring. She wanted to pick up and dial his number again but she knew she shouldn't. There was no point he wouldn't answer and would just pretend later that he didn't hear it. Chad always acted that way, it was how Stacey knew he would be coming home buzzed if not drunk. It was a bad night when this happened. As much as she tried to be a supportive girlfriend, she would always get mad and then they would fight. I know he's going to get into trouble one of these times thought Stacey. I just don't understand why drinking and partying is so important to him. Everything he goes out I get to sit here and worry. It's driving me mad she thought. She continued to stare at the screen begging herself not to call as the hours slowly and painfully crept on. Finally about one in the morning Chad called. Crabby as usually and of course he sounded buzzed. He and his mom were going out for food and he thought he would be considerate and find out what she wanted. Damn it she thought in her head. How does he always drink so much around her? She was frustrated and angered all at the same time. " I don't care" she calmly said as he argued about pizza. They hung up after a few more times of her nonchalant answers. As brief as I can and I won't get mad she thought. Chad pulled in the driveway and the clock showed that it was already three. So much for home soon she thought as Chad fumbled with his keys at the door. "Where are you?" boomed Chad's voice in the previously silent house. Silently she sat holding her breath waiting for what would be next. Sleep started creeping in her eyes as she said " I'm going to bed." " What the hell did I get you food for?" came his response moments later. Stacey felt she shouldn't reply and instead slipped into bed. Laying awake she listened to his conversations with his mom. Stupid, it's all stupid she repeated in her head as she turned over. She lay there thinking. One of these days I will get him to understand. " You have no right to be mad you know." hollered Chad's mom. Stupid people thought Stacey as a tear fell from her eye. One of these days I will let him know how I really feel. Exhausted she didn't' know what to do. She played over the fights they always had and wished desperately that he would see. There was always a temper about him after he had been drinking, even if it was only one and worse on the days it was more. She had thought about earlier that night. How he got mad and threw the fan because she didn't want to eat with him and his mom. "If you don't come in there y the time I start the movie you'll regret it" he breathed into her ear. She felt a tear roll down her eye. How can someone so great be so mean at times she thought as she restlessly changed positions again. Her hand still hurt a little from where the fan hit her. He never meant to hurt her, but somehow when he'd been drinking he always managed to break a little piece of her heart away. How do you tell someone? She thought. How can you express the pain they bring to you? How can you make then see? She asked herself as the tears now poured down her face and onto her pillow. How do you tell someone that you love that they break your heart at times? How do you tell someone the experiences you have and make them feel it? How do you tell someone that influences made all the difference? How do you tell someone so dear that when they drink every drink comes back to hurt not only them but you? How do you explain life without pain? How do you tell? Silently her thoughts screamed. How do you tell that person who is your soulmate that life, the way they live it is a bad influence? How do you tell the one who is your world that life got in the way? With more tears than ever before, Stacey had drifted asleep. Into a sleep of quite somber where the pain of life went away. How do you tell them life got in the way? How do you tell someone so close that they are so far away?