tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-151307402012-01-24T22:41:21.627-06:00Every day has a sunrise and a sunset,each of my days exists beyond that distant horizon.Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.comBlogger291100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-77288633757582574202012-01-24T22:41:00.000-06:002012-01-24T22:41:21.635-06:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ffe599; color: #0c343d;"><b>Copyright: Maria 2012</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ffe599; color: #0c343d;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ffe599; color: #0c343d;"><b>As I lay here watching my son sleeping, the world stops. The moments disappear and all my worries fade into the background. Peace seems tangible and my world is at ease. Each breath he takes has a rhythm that lulls even the brightest sun to give way to the stars. My heart beats slows to a quiet harmony and inside I know this is where my life is meant to be. My son &amp; my&nbsp;fiance&nbsp;bring out the best in me. It is through their smiles, their slumbers, &amp; their love that I am able to take in the night stars once again. They are my world and I have found my serenity.&nbsp;</b></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-7728863375758257420?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-58981685643884497362012-01-24T22:37:00.002-06:002012-01-24T22:37:51.172-06:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #9fc5e8; color: #38761d;">Copyright: Maria 2012</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #9fc5e8; color: #38761d;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #9fc5e8; color: #38761d;">With tears in my eyes, there's no sanity left inside</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #9fc5e8; color: #38761d;">Feel I'm nothing but a disgrace, just can't take this pace.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #9fc5e8; color: #38761d;">No sleep, no rest, I can't survive this test.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #9fc5e8; color: #38761d;">Trying hard not to let it show but deep inside a frustration grows.&nbsp;</span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-5898168564388449736?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-21863086539886120492012-01-24T22:33:00.000-06:002012-01-24T22:33:50.949-06:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Copyright: Maria 2012</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Travelin all over the place&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Same ol' story just a different space</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Seemingly new people just showing face</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Thought I was done with High School&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">But seeing it all over the Place.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">TV dramas have nothing on this town</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Each girl reaching for her drama crown</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">All full of tales, each has a side&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">but playing it off like they've nothing to hide&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Never claiming their drama each proclaims,&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">they've not a care in the world.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Saying they're one way,&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">acting another.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Same ol' story different time and place.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">Back in High School with drama&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #ea9999; color: #741b47;">no one wants to face.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-2186308653988612049?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-88573296649337546232009-10-05T06:35:00.003-05:002009-10-05T20:59:30.127-05:00<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Copyright: Maria 2009</span> <br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Water rippling through the breeze </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sounds of long forgotten memories </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Pasts that led us to the now </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">All along questioning every how</span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Left as though forgotten </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Feeling every bit of rotten </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Searching within our mind </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Finding we are completely blind </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Not looking in the past to see </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Friends once omitted, back to comfort thee </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Winds once howling now pass by </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">As though releasing a silent cry</span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Nature’s burden now crystal clear </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Was all along just internal fear </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Screaming from once deep inside </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Come to life the parts that died </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Once invisible and left for broken</span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Now treated like a cherished token</span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Bright colors now sweeping in </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sprinkling kisses against shimmering skin </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Trees sway from side to side </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">And the world’s colors cannot hide </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ghosts from the cold dreary nights of past </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sweep pain out of sight at long last</span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Seeing now with open eyes </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Stars dazzle among the skies</span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sunsets leading to sunrises</span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Bringing forth with them sweet surprises </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">With dreams now as my guide </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">No longer from the world shall I hide </span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Reflecting now the emotions within</span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Nature sighs leaving but a simple grin</span><br /><br /><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-8857329664933754623?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-43177813583388581822009-09-24T16:09:00.000-05:002009-09-24T16:18:37.582-05:00<span style="color:#3333ff;">I like music very much. Every now and again I write song lyrics. I'm working on finding someone to help me make them more than just lyrics. Until then here is one of the songs I have written. Let me know what you think and please if you know anyone let me know who can help let me know!</span><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Copyright: Maria 2009</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">V1: Where can I find you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;"> Just to share with you </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">This emotion that is strong and true</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">My life, my world, and my love </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">It surrounds you </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">This feeling inside is overcoming me </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">If you look inside you will see </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Chorus: I'm addicted to this feeling </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">That hides so deep inside</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">My heart is beating quickly </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">And I feel like I could fly</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">V2: Can you feel it too? </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Are you addicted too? </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Is it overcoming you?</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">I can't run and I can't hide </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">It's always there </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Always so deep inside</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Chorus</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">V3: It makes me feel alive </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Without it I </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Couldn't survive</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">I'm waiting here for you to arrive </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Can you tell me it's true? </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Are you in love with me too?</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Are you addicted too?</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Cause I'm addicted to this feeling </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Baby it's true</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">I'm addicted to this feeling</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">And now I'm addicted to you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">So addicted to you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Tell me you're </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Addicted too </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Tell me you love me</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Tell me you care </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Tell me baby </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">You'll always be there</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">Chorus</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">V4: And now I'm addicted to you </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;color:#66ffff;">So addicted to you</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;"><span style="color:#66ffff;">Baby, I'm addicted to you.</span> </span></div><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;"> </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-4317781358338858182?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-41742103579540917462009-09-24T16:06:00.001-05:002009-09-24T16:09:36.372-05:00<span style="font-family:georgia;color:#cc66cc;">I know it's been a really long while since I wrote. While this blog is dedicated to my less journal like writings, I just wanted to post and say I'm back. So this and my other blog will be getting updated more regularly.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-4174210357954091746?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-78435915874459182672007-01-04T21:14:00.000-06:002007-01-04T22:21:44.658-06:00<a href="http://hometown.aol.com/kiralg/images/!!fallen%20angel.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://hometown.aol.com/kiralg/images/!!fallen%20angel.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">What do you do when the past is no longer past and the present begins to hold no meaning? How do you find time for the memories of yesterday? </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Traveling along this road seemed certain. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Following my heart felt right. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">It helped me get through even the darkest night. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Now it seems I no longer have the might. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">This night is cold and it surrounds me. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">There is no way out, no way to find my yesterday. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Memories to long forgotten, can not be reclaimed. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I spend my time assuming my role. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I am but one person on this planet. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I am but one less, this time one less than whole. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Somehow the words are no longer comforting. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Somehow life took it away from me. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Viewing out on the path ahead of me everything is in it's place. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">It's all there, but there's no longer a name or face. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">How do we find time to remember what we have forgotten? </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">How do you stop others from the pain inside? </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">There <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">exists</span> miracles, but how do you get them in time? </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Faceless dreams and words unspoken, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">hopes and fears and hearts left broken. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">It seemed so certain, this road I traveled. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Now it seems so broken,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Left untraveled, on this road I stand alone. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Slowly</span> everyone is taken.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">What seemed so certain now seems mistaken. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">How do I face this road alone?</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">The only way left no longer feels right. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">How can I do this without you by my side? </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">The road winds, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">twists</span>, and turns, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Yet you tell me I'm strong enough </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">This shouldn't burn, but how it burns.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Trusting my heart I continue on. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Until eventually everything is gone. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I stand alone, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">no one</span> to hear me cry. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I stand alone, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">no one</span> to see me die. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">My heart is ripped and my soul is torn. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I thought you said I could go it alone. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I am strong, or so it seems, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">but I must confess, an awakening? </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">There is no more strength for me. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Only enough to make you believe. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">The path I travel seems so broken, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">It's as though we have never spoken </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I find a glimpse of sun to hold. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">And again before I know it all turns cold. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">This certainty has not been left for me. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I turn around in hopes to see </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">what I left, what I need. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">And there's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">no one</span> there. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">No one</span> to care for me. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I hold my head up high and I push, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Trying to make it though this, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">Still striving for a day,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">when less pain came my way. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">How do I stop it? </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">How do you see? </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Slowly</span> there is nothing left in me. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I travel this road alone, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I continue to push and fight </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">for what it is my heart finds right. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I no longer know, how it came to be </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">how this road left only me. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">The advice I know comes down to this, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">All we can do is hope and wish, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">to find ourselves amongst all this. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I push and I strive for those dreams left unknown, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#6666cc;">I push and I strive not to be alone. </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-7843591587445918267?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1147202726891090652006-05-09T14:23:00.000-05:002006-05-09T14:25:26.906-05:00<span style="color:#999999;">Today God took my daddy. </span><br /><span style="color:#999999;">Now he is without pain. </span><br /><span style="color:#999999;">But I miss him so. </span><br /><span style="color:#999999;">I don't know how or where to go. </span><br /><span style="color:#999999;">No matter what I say or do, today God took my daddy. </span><br /><span style="color:#999999;">I miss him so, it's so hard to let go. </span><br /><span style="color:#999999;">Today God took my daddy.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-114720272689109065?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1147146964190440192006-05-08T22:48:00.000-05:002006-05-08T22:56:04.193-05:00<div align="center"><a href="http://www.decembersrose.com/Images/gallery/Rob%20Romero/All%20Alone%20enlarge.jpg"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.decembersrose.com/Images/gallery/Rob%20Romero/All%20Alone%20enlarge.jpg" border="0" /></span></a><span style="color:#3333ff;"><br />Daddy:<br />Hold on tight daddy.<br />Don't let go.<br />I need you so.<br />I know it's hard,<br />And the pain is rough.<br />But daddy I love you so.<br />So please don't let go. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">You are my strength and my world. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">I love you so. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">Just please don't let go. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">Daddy, you are my hero. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">You make my world what it is. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">Without you I would be so very alone. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">I still have so much growing up to do. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">So please hold on for me. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">Daddy, I love you so. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;">So please just don't let go....</span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-114714696419044019?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1147146201743582082006-05-08T22:35:00.000-05:002006-05-08T22:43:21.756-05:00<div align="center"><a href="http://www.klrc.com/images/prayer.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.klrc.com/images/prayer.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="color:#00cccc;"> God:<br />Hear my prayer.<br />I know that you care.<br />I need you to let him stay with me.<br />I need you to take away his pain.<br />Help him to learn and make it all better.<br />Help him to know you're there.<br />I can't do this without him.<br />I'll always need him there.<br />He is my strength on this earth, Lord.<br />He is my daddy.<br />Please help him to feel no pain.<br />But please do so without taking him away.<br />I can't do this life without him.<br />I can't stop crying and I can't stop this pain.<br />I can't make it go away until I know he is okay.<br />It's welling up inside me, and a part of me is dying.<br />I can't live this life without him.<br />I still have so much growing up to do.<br />Please, don't take my daddy.<br />Not today, or for a long long time.<br />Please don't take my daddy,<br />God he's mine....<br />Help me have the strength to make it through.<br />Help me Lord,<br />Don't take my daddy.... </span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-114714620174358208?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1147066745654765282006-05-08T00:33:00.000-05:002006-05-08T00:39:05.666-05:00<span style="color:#663366;">I'm in this world of mine alone.<br />No room for me to fit in.<br />Others around me come and go.<br />And still there's noone I know.<br />I sit at night and cry.<br />Slowly a part of me dies.<br />I'm in this world alone.<br />Noone to reach, not even by phone.<br />It's strange to see.<br />Noone's here but me.<br />So much space,<br />Yet noone has a place.<br />I wonder why,<br />And at night I cry.<br />Why can't I fit in?<br />Why can't I have a friend?<br />Is there something wrong with me?<br />Is it my life to suffer?<br />Noone knows, noone cares.<br />Maybe cause there's noone there.<br />I sit in these four walls.<br />And slowly my death it calls.<br />This world I'm in can bear no friends.<br />And I sit here all alone.<br />Just one question, that I might ask?<br />Would it be to hard of a task?<br />Can I fit in with you one day?<br />Can we go out and play?<br />This world I'm in,<br />Leaves me a lone.<br />I sit and ponder,<br />Will there every be a world<br />With anyone but me?<br />Can I fit in, please?</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-114706674565476528?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1146453535056835032006-04-30T22:11:00.000-05:002006-04-30T22:18:55.070-05:00<span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">I'm drowning in this world I'm in</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Noone to save me </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Not even a friend. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Where did my life go? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">How is it all getting to me? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">It's true life's driven me past crazy. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">What do I do where do I go? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Noone notices my pain</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">There all busy with their own little games. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">No reason to smile. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">No reason to frown. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">I sit here unnoticed, </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Until I have drowned. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Would you notice if I went away? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Never to return again, never to stay?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">How long would it take you? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">More than a day? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">What do you do when life gets in your way? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">I'm drowning quickly </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">And I can't see a person to save me </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Before there is no more me. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">I have no strength, </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">I feel nothing but pain. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Simple put there's nothing left of me, </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Nothing left in my world but rain. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Would you notice? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Do you even care. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">I see you say you do. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">I hear you say you're there. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">But I can't see you now. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">All I see is water rushing over me </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">As I slowly drown. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">This pain is killing me. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">None of you can see. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">There's nothing left to me. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">You all say you know me. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">But please point me the person that does. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">Because none of you see me drowning. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">None of you care. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">It's all a bunch of pretending. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">All thoughts that are untrue. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">The water's coming quicker. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">And none of you noticed. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#336666;">But tonight, </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="color:#336666;">I drowned.</span> </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-114645353505683503?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1140798778347239092006-02-24T10:16:00.000-06:002006-02-24T10:32:58.363-06:00<div align="center"><span style="color:#cc0000;">I sit inside my world and cry.<br />Slowly everything around me dies.<br />This world I'm in bears no friend's<br />and alone I sit and sigh.<br />Terror surrounds me and inside I scream.<br />I wish this life were but a bad bad dream.<br />Unfortunatly I find that I truly am alive<br />and this world I'm in steals away my drive.<br />Fighting to survive, daring to be but alive<br />this world I'm in no longer wants me to thrive.<br />The pain and strife takes away my life<br />Inside this world it cuts like a knife.<br />My shoulders have now become outweighed.<br />In this world I sit afraid.<br />I no longer know what to do.<br />I sit wishing I could bid this world adieu.<br />Until I can I sit and dream,<br />And while I dream inside I scream.<br />This world I'm in leaves me full of pain and strife.<br />This world I'm in cuts like a knife.</span><br /></div></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-114079877834723909?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1139325701134430862006-02-07T09:16:00.000-06:002006-02-07T09:21:56.550-06:00<span style="font-size:85%;color:#33ccff;">I scream from the mountain tops as though liberated. My soul sings from the sky. It is today that I have become a person again. Today that I realize that the world is mine. The wind blows and the earth blossoms around me. My world is opening up. One event that can harbor so many intentions, on word that can express so much fear. Today I am untouchable. Around me voices scream with all intentions of hurting me. Today none of that matters. For today I am me again. My world is full of happiness. You see rain clouds. I smell the fresh air, full of so much joy. You see pain, I see strength. Today the world carries a new outlook. Today I search the skies to find that all smiles down on me. Today will be the beginning of may days to come. You will see. Today is the day that I am whole again.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-113932570113443086?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1136278061039701862006-01-03T02:39:00.000-06:002006-01-18T01:58:38.336-06:00<a href="http://www.homewithgod.com/Cards/Images/holynight/holynighttop.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.homewithgod.com/Cards/Images/holynight/holynighttop.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">Author: Unknown</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">If I knew it would be the last time</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">that I'd see you fall asleep, </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I would tuck you in tighter</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">and pray the Lord your soul to keep.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">If I knew it would be the last time </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">that I see you walk out the door, </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I would give you a hug and kiss</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">and call you back for one more. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">If I knew it would be the last time</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I would videotape each action and word</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">so I could hear them day after day</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">If I knew it would be the last time</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I could spare an extra minute or two, </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">to stop and say "I love you,"</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">If I knew it would be the last time</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I would be there to share your day, </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">well I'm sure you'll have so many more </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">so I can let just one slip away. </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">For surely there's always tomorrow</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">to make up for an oversight, </span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">and we always get a second chance</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">to make everything right. </span></div><span style="color:#cc33cc;"></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-113627806103970186?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1136277483927241492006-01-03T02:35:00.000-06:002006-01-18T01:57:45.836-06:00<a href="http://www.whiskeysierragrafics.com/grafiken/atmosphere%20mood/Dark/sadness-y.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.whiskeysierragrafics.com/grafiken/atmosphere%20mood/Dark/sadness-y.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.artdept.com.au/contest02/digital/lee-sorrow.jpg"></a><br />*As I lay me down to sleep, dreams of forever let me peep, a world of tomorrow shall I seek, till then off for a peep is where I shall remain, silent and unbroken, I feel no pain.<br />*Surrounded by a sea of sorrow, where there seems to be no tomorrow. Living a life that's full of nothing but pain and strife. For once in this life, I wish for a tomorrow with no sorrow. A tomorrow where people realize the course of their actions. Time to give up, time to give in, no time to do this or that... Hell no time to live.... Continuing down a road of sorrow, endlessly walking and trudging for no tomorrow.<br />*Would you notice if I went away never to return? Would you even have a thought of concern? Living in a life that leaves me all alone, sitting in a place of the unknown. Facing a world of pain and fears, striving to end the rain of tears. Sitting in a world of the unknown, left with nothing but to be alone. Would you even notice if I went away? Would you even try to make me stay?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-113627748392724149?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1136272919213334352006-01-03T01:07:00.000-06:002006-01-18T01:57:08.033-06:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2862/1391/1600/socloseyetsofar.0.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2862/1391/320/socloseyetsofar.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2862/1391/1600/socloseyetsofar.jpg"></a><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#ff6666;">Alone in the back room Stacey sat staring at the computer screen. There was so much she knew she needed to be doing. But she couldn't help but impatiently wait for the phone to ring. She wanted to pick up and dial his number again but she knew she shouldn't. There was no point he wouldn't answer and would just pretend later that he didn't hear it. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Chad always acted that way, it was how Stacey knew he would be coming home buzzed if not drunk. It was a bad night when this happened. As much as she tried to be a supportive girlfriend, she would always get mad and then they would fight. I know he's going to get into trouble one of these times thought Stacey. I just don't understand why drinking and partying is so important to him. Everything he goes out I get to sit here and worry. It's driving me mad she thought. She continued to stare at the screen begging herself not to call as the hours slowly and painfully crept on. Finally about one in the morning Chad called. Crabby as usually and of course he sounded buzzed. He</span> <span style="color:#cc0000;">and his mom were going out for food and he thought he would be considerate and find out what she wanted. Damn it she thought in her head. How does he always drink so much around her? She was frustrated and angered all at the same time. " I don't care" she calmly said as he argued about pizza. They hung up after a few more times of her nonchalant answers. As brief as I can and I won't get mad she thought. Chad pulled in the driveway and the clock showed that it was already three. So much for home soon she thought as Chad fumbled with his keys at the door. "Where are you?" boomed Chad's voice in the previously silent house. Silently she sat holding her breath waiting for what would be next. Sleep</span> <span style="color:#990000;">started creeping in her eyes as she said " I'm going to bed." " What the hell did I get you food for?" came his response moments later. Stacey felt she shouldn't reply and instead slipped into bed. Laying awake she listened to his conversations with his mom. Stupid, it's all stupid she repeated in her head as she turned over. She lay there thinking. One of these days I will get him to understand. " You have no right to be mad you know." hollered Chad's mom. Stupid people thought Stacey as a tear fell from her eye. One of these days I will let him know how I really feel. Exhausted she didn't' know what to do. She played over the fights they always had and wished desperately that he would see. There was always a temper about him after he had been drinking, even if it was only one and worse on the days it was more. She had thought about earlier that night. How he got mad and threw the fan because she didn't want to eat with him and his mom. "If you don't come in there y the time I start the movie you'll regret it" he breathed into her ear. She felt a tear roll down her eye.</span> <span style="color:#660000;">How can someone so great be so mean at times she thought as she restlessly changed positions again. Her hand still hurt a little from where the fan hit her. He never meant to hurt her, but somehow when he'd been drinking he always managed to break a little piece of her heart away. How do you tell someone? She thought. How can you express the pain they bring to you? How can you make then see? She asked herself as the tears now poured down her face and onto her pillow. How do you tell someone that you love that they break your heart at times? How do you tell someone the experiences you have and make them feel it? How do you tell someone that influences made all the difference? How do you tell someone so dear that when they drink every drink comes back to hurt not only them but you? How do you explain life without pain? How do you tell? Silently her thoughts screamed. How do you tell that person who is your soulmate that life, the way they live</span> <span style="color:#993300;">it is a bad influence? How do you tell the one who is your world that life got in the way? With more tears than ever before, Stacey had drifted asleep. Into a sleep of quite somber where the pain of life went away.</span> </span><span style="color:#ff0000;">How do you tell them life got in the way? How do you tell someone so close that they are so far away?</span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-113627291921333435?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1135807309756884422005-12-28T15:37:00.000-06:002006-01-18T02:31:35.650-06:00<span style="color:#c0c0c0;">A cold chill whipped through the air and the wind brought a smell of fresh rain. The sky outside was dark and gray. The tree were bare and the grass was no longer green but brown. There was no sign of life to be found. Sitting on a lonely park bench sat Courtney. Huddled in her sweatshirt she looked around. There were no people around her. Just the graveyard that lay lurking across the street. Creepy she thought as the street lamps flickered on. She welcomed the newfound light, hoping it would bring some warmth. She wasn't quite sure what had made her decide to visit the park today. Maybe is was the quiet peace, maybe it was the fresh smell of rain, or maybe it was the comfort of knowing noone would find her or the tears that were streaming down her face. She couldn't remember why she came out here, she just knew that there she was. Alone and cold on that wooden bench. The dirt pathway a few feet in front of her showed no footsteps, no track to where she was. Alone... She thought. Staring out into the sky without a thought passing her mind hours passed. The sky that was earlier gray was now black. No sign of stars, for the clouds were still covering the sky, all was dark but the moon and the street lamps that were flickering on and off. Suddenly she heard a sound. Startled she jumped up and started scanning her surroundings. Off in the distance she saw a squirrel chasing after a fallen acorn. Her heart still pounding she returned to the bench to sit a while longer. Somehow being alone made her feel better. Thoughts started rushing back into her head as she sat there, paying no attention to the world around her. Why would this be? She thought. How did my life become what it is. Neither bad nor good but just there. Was it my fault? Will it ever change? When will I stop desiring to be alone yet yearning for friends? How can my every though be a contradiction. When will it all feel okay? Not knowing what these thoughts meant or why she was thinking them she shook them away. Suddenly she realized she had been crying harder then ever. The tears felt warm streaming down her cold face. She curled up next to the arm of the bench and just stared outward. Watching everything and breathing in the now even colder air she shuddered. What was it about a day like today that was so terrifying yet so comforting? She stared as thunder and lightning struck a few feet in front of her. She shivered and tuck into a tighter ball on the park bench. She continued to stare into the world in front of her. It was so close yet she seemed to be distanced from everything in the world. A few more tears found their way down Courlyn's face and she didn't bother to wipe them away. She was too busy thinking about life and how she loved being alone ona day like today. She could face the world without worrying. She couldn't figure out what it was about a day like today that brought all these feelings rushing out. Before she knew it she was asleep on the bench, the rain pouring down on her already soaked clothes. The wind soared and she couldn't help but shiver, even asleep she couldn't figure out what it was baout a day like today.<br />Beth turned the page silently. Rainy days with nothing to do were her favorite. It gave her all the time in the world to be cuddled up on the couch with a cover and a good book. Today it was<u> A Life Yet to be Lived</u> by: Alberta Vacuine. It was a lovely tale about a wizarding world and the trials that everyday life presented. Beth always loved books that she could drift away in and become the characters. The wind whipped outside harder then ever and she tightly pulled up her covers. " On a lonely park bench sat Courlyn" began the book. And off to the lonely park bench went Beth. Lightning and thunder struck outside and Beth was pulled back into her world all too quickly. She pulled up the covers and rolled on her side, she drifted back into her book. Oh how she loved days like today, but she had no idea why.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-113580730975688442?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1132282976259441052005-11-17T20:30:00.000-06:002006-01-18T01:54:54.636-06:00<a href="http://thecharger.org/2002/Magazine/pictures/IllustrationA-New-beginning.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://thecharger.org/2002/Magazine/pictures/IllustrationA-New-beginning.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;">Jo sat back silently watching her friend Destiny. They had decided to go out for the night. It was a miracle they had managed to gather their schedules together long enough to meet for the evening. Jo had an assignment she had to complete and Destiny, being the friend that she was, offered to tag along. As they walked through the cold to the concert Destiny couldn't remember why she had agreed to go. Then he popped into her thoughts. Not that that was unusual, Luke was always on her mind. He was a big part of her life this year. A new friend and the perfect one since things had just ended with Brad. "What are you thinking about?" Jo interrupted her thoughts. " Nothing" Destiny sighed. Jo knew there was someone she was thinking of, there always was. "Do you know anyone playing tonight?" Jo asked. " A few people, Ben, James, Luke." her voice trailed off. Right then and there Jo figured it out. "So that's who's nothing...." Jo commented. "What, who, nothing?" Destiny replied shocked. </span><br /><span style="color:#00cccc;">" You can't hide things you know..... You like him don't you?" </span><br /><span style="color:#6633ff;"><span style="color:#00cccc;">Before Destiny could reply they had already entered the auditorium. They sat silently watching the concert. Jo couldn't help</span> </span><span style="color:#ff0000;">but noticing her friend's growing smile as Luke stepped up to play. Destiny watched his every movement, only glancing away for a second here and there. Each girl made small talk about the pieces, but Jo paid close attention to her friend. Afterwards they decided to run and talk to a few of the people Destiny knew. As they turned the corner they bumped into Luke, causing him to drop some of his things. "Oh sorry" muttered Jo. " Jo, this is Luke..."Destiny introduced the two. After a normal first meeting, Jo stepped back to let the two friends talk. While watching she noticed a certain glow in both their eyes. A glow that surely insinuated more than friends. "He's a great guy, really good at what he does."Destiny mentioned on their walk back to the car. </span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">"Luke? He's cute, nice it seems. "Jo replied. </span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">"Yea he is, sorry he's taken." Destiny continued to talk, not even realizing that she had never mentioned his name, to everyone else Luke was simply him.</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"I bet, I'm glad you have a good friend though."</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"Yea, a good friend...." Her voice seemed sadder this time</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"Something wrong?"</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"Nah, just waiting for him to realize he's with the wrong girl."</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"Ah, he will." They hopped into the car and heading back to the dorm. </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">" Not soon enough I fear." </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"Listen, Destiny ... He will, I just know it..."</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">" I hope so. I just don't know what to do in the mean time." </span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"Tell him.... You have to tell him how you feel. That's how all beginning's start."</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"Beginning's?"</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"Yea, beginning's" Jo repeated.</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">"Maybe that's just what we need, a beginning"</span><br /><span style="color:#6633ff;">Jo knew that she was right. She had never seen Destiny look so emerged, so cheerful. Every time she mentioned Luke, which was more than she realized, she had a glow to her. They reached the dorm and dropped Destiny off. They said their goodbyes and Jo drove off. As she was driving Jo looked up and saw the first star<em> </em>of the night and quietly whispered a wish.</span><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="color:#cc33cc;">Star light, </span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="color:#cc33cc;">star bright, </span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="color:#cc33cc;">first star I see tonight, </span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I wish I may, </span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I wish I might, </span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="color:#cc33cc;">Have the wish I wish tonight.</span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="color:#cc33cc;">I wish for a beginning, cause no one deserves it more.</span></em></div><div align="left"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div align="left"><span style="color:#6633ff;"></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-113228297625944105?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1130394624910117882005-10-27T01:17:00.000-05:002006-01-18T01:53:31.500-06:00<a href="http://www.focusgallery.nl/albums/ErlandPillegaard/just_a_girl.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.focusgallery.nl/albums/ErlandPillegaard/just_a_girl.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.digitalroseweb.com/justagirl.jpg"></a><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;"></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">With Long dark brown hairs she waits</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">wondering what the worlds holds for her fate</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">staring out with big brown eyes</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">deep inside she cries</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">stressing about everything</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">worrying about every little anything</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">leaving no time to live</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">all the while having no time to give</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">too much to do and no time to spare</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">it seems as though the world could not care</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">although her life is stressed and rushed</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">through it all she keeps it hushed</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">never wanting to bother anyone </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">she does her best to be kinds to everyone</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">she never lets herself be found with a frown</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">and thus it seems she is never down</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">fighting unfair battles day after day</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">gives her plenty of things to say</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">never speaking her mind </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">for fear the others might not like what they find</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">she tries so hard to be liked and fit in</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">afraid one day her emotions will win </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">However, your sympathy and worries she needs not</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">for good qualities- plenty she's got</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">she can light up anyone's day </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">in her sweet simple kind of way</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">with each breath she has an optimistic air</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">for that she finds is the only way life can be near fair</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">knowing that in life loyalty is a definite key</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">a loyal friend she will always be</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">if ever you are found in time of need</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">she'll do her best to help with a good deed</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">though life's cruelties she has had her share </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">she always finds time to care</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">through her stress and worries and frowns</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">never will she dare to bring another down</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">if you ever find the time to stop and giver her a chance </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">she'll be such a good friend you'll want to dance </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">but above all remember this one thing</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:#33ff33;">she values family, friendship, and love above everything</span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-113039462491011788?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1130393397544716022005-10-27T00:51:00.000-05:002006-05-08T22:46:54.416-05:00<a href="http://www.louvebene.com/images/photos/alone_in_a_hard_world.jpg"></a><br /><a href="http://www.louvebene.com/images/photos/alone_in_a_hard_world.jpg"></a><br /><a href="http://www.louvebene.com/images/photos/alone_in_a_hard_world.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.louvebene.com/images/photos/alone_in_a_hard_world.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.louvebene.com/images/photos/alone_in_a_hard_world.jpg"></a><br /><br /><span style="color:#cc66cc;"><span style="color:#00cccc;">I can't wait for next year she thought. There will be so much to do and so many people to hang out with. She had recently discovered a whole new world in herself. Joey was ready to take it all</span> <span style="color:#990000;">in. Nothing was going to stop her from having fun and hanging out this year. She wasn't going to stand on the outside and look in this year. She had made herself that promise. Last year was so hard with the unfortunate family events and hectic schedule. It's time to be me she thought. She finally arrived at her first destination. She walked in to recruitment. What better way to be social then to join a sorority? The week went by and she soon got discouraged. She hadn't been</span> <span style="color:#ffcc00;">accepted in the one she wanted. She drove home in tears hoping that this year's dream hadn't faded already. A few days passed and she slowly calmed down and decided she wasn't going to break her promise. She would just re-rush in the spring, besides there was that club one of her classes was starting and she was excited about that too. Weeks went by and she remained busy as ever with school and homework and just home life. More family issues arose and she found herself in a lonely place yet again. It's ok she thought. This year will be better. Looking forward</span> <span style="color:#663366;">to doing more with the group she walked in to class. Yet again she was let down. The group she yearned so much to be a apart had taken off and without any help from her. She seemed to be pushed out of the way. With no one to turn to she silently walked out of class. The next few months became a blur, she barely made it to class and was struggling with every aspect of her life. Silently she let the tears fall every night, wishing her dream had come true. Then on night near Halloween she lay in her bed thinking about her life. About how alone she had become. How</span> </span><span style="color:#006600;">no matter how hard she tried it seemed she couldn't push forward. A tear fell down her face, with many more quickly following. She thought to herself, I guess I'm just meant to be alone in the world. What is the point of being in the world when you're all alone? She couldn't think of one and she fell asleep exhausted from her thoughts. </span><br /><span style="color:#cc66cc;"><span style="color:#006600;">Today we are going to a funeral. No one knows what happened. She was so young and the autopsy showed no sign of damage. The rain poured down and the sky was dark gray. Everyone</span> </span><span style="color:#000099;">was saddened. Joey was to young to be gone already. As everyone entered the cemetery they were at a loss for words. Her headstone bore the words she had thought last. The clouds darken and the lightning and thunder sounded louder than ever. There on her headstone was four words that spoke of the pain she held inside and never could bare to share. As the rain worsened the last words everyone had to remember Joey by were </span><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong><em>Alone In The World</em></strong></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-113039339754471602?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1129802507258582792005-10-20T04:43:00.000-05:002006-01-18T01:51:06.506-06:00<a href="http://www.cavalierdaily.com/.Archives/2004/09/06/hs-breakup.gif"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.cavalierdaily.com/.Archives/2004/09/06/hs-breakup.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#33ccff;">The air resound with the thickness of the unresolved argument that had just taken place. She lay there still cuddled in his arms,warm tears streaming down her face. She could not believe how all this had aspired from one stupid argument. How could I have even let that bother me she thought as more tears fell onto her pillow. He slowly breathed next to her, holding her like it were any other night. Upon a stranger's glance one would never know he had just uttered possibly the worst words she had ever heard. "You'll have to learn" he began, saying each word as if it were normal. "You have to learn to deal with the pain. Some things in life are tough and they may hurt. But maybe they aren't meant to be. I know I don't make you happy." Rethinking it she couldn't help but let out a sob. How could he even think that? It was the farthest thing from the truth. Sure they argued about stupid things, but what couple doesn't. She couldn't bear to lye so close to him with all these thoughts burning inside her. She gently got up from the bed. Once she had made it silently over top of him, she replaced the cover and set his stuffed animal next to him. With a kiss and a gentle goodnight she retreated to the living room, her very own stuffed animal at her side. She sat down on the couch, feeling no desire to sleep. Everything kept playing over in her head. How could he think that? How can I make him see just how much I love him? I don't want this to be over. . . I can't handle for this to be over..... I need him. Then once again the terrible words sounded in her head ..."You'll have to learn." The words kept cutting deeper, making the spot where he first uttered them bleed through her very shirt. I can't learn I need him she thought, more tears streamed down her face then ever before. I can't learn I just can't ..... Please God don't make me.... She pleaded with the only person awake to listen. Please God, please just help him to understand I need him and love him.... I can't learn. The hours kept passing bye as she lay on the couch thinking about what had just happened. I love him .... Please don't make me lose him.... She begged for hours until she thought she could cry no more. A final tear fell down her already tear streaked face as she drifted off to sleep and heard one last utterance with one final stab of pain .... "You'll have to learn" he said....</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-112980250725858279?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1129307284874883122005-10-14T11:17:00.000-05:002006-01-18T01:50:31.843-06:00<a href="http://www.killerrobots.com/screensavers/jack-o-lantern_1.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.killerrobots.com/screensavers/jack-o-lantern_1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.neroameta.it/Sonar311003/Foto%20Sonar%20Halloween%200001a.JPG"></a><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><span style="color:#ff6600;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Halloween is just around the corner. Which is exciting, cause that means the rest of the holidays are shortly after. It's cool! We decorated this past week. At least half of our decorations are up. We love to decorate for holidays. I'm a traditional holiday kinda girl. I think I t makes it more fun that way. So my 20th birthday is in 2 days. I should probably be more excited than I am. It seems that my birthday comes at a bad time every year. Plus it doesn't help that my boyfriend's brother shares my birthday. There's a loaded statement. I'm in a frustrated mood today. I was all complainy to my poor friend Erin today in class. Sometimes I wonder how she puts up with me. It's a wonder. So let's see there's lots I could complain about but I am trying to avoid that. I can't wait for Thanksgiving Break. I already need time off. I seriously need to take a vacation. It seems that on all my time off there is so much to do that I never really rest. My classes are going ok and my house is mostly clean. Ruben and I are ok for now too I guess. Life is ok ... Which is ok ? I think I may have just overused that word today. So on that I am done for today I think. ~ Mia</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-112930728487488312?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1128050383660902032005-09-29T22:10:00.000-05:002006-01-18T01:49:18.916-06:00<a href="http://wp.li.ru/sky/sky_001.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://wp.li.ru/sky/sky_001.jpg" border="0" /></a> <span style="color:#993399;"><span style="font-size:85%;">So today wasn't the best of days. It's has been a weird sort of downward slope. We were doing really good at our job and now not so much. I only made $21 in five hours! Not a good amount of money. Especially when all our bills are right around the corner. Not to mention Ruben is trying really hard to save up money for my birthday, bless his heart. I have so much to do and so little time to do it all it seems. My house needs clean, I need to get caught up on homework, I need to get my Halloween costumes, I need to decorate for Halloween. It's been kinda hellish. I'm just hoping it will pass. Cause lately it hasn't been the happiest of times. I am wanting and hoping to rush again in the spring though and maybe having more people to hang out with will be better. Who knows. I'm not even sure what I need right now. I'm just frustrated and fussy......Not the best time to write either. I hate complaining..... So Goodnight for now. ~ Maria </span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-112805038366090203?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1127359124335510682005-09-21T22:09:00.000-05:002006-01-03T01:56:57.963-06:00<a href="http://www.terragame.com/screens/spots_busy_day.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.terragame.com/screens/spots_busy_day.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color:#66ffff;">So today I have a lot to write I think. My mind is moving rather quickly at the moment. I should really be doing homework, but really who does that? J.K. I will do it eventually. Anyway I got my tattoo finished today! I am so excited. So I'm really in the mood to get in shape and all lately.</span><span style="color:#cc66cc;"> It's been kinda crazy so I haven't had time. I think I will actually wake up and go early tomorrow. I want to look good by Halloween. Christmas the latest. I need a workout buddy though. I have to try and at least have a good stomach by Halloween, cause I have a big costume party to go to and I want to look good in my costume. </span><span style="color:#ff6600;">I'm going as princess Jasmine and my boyfriend is going as Aladdin. I just need to be in shape. Hopefully it will all work out by then. I have been so bored lately. Ruben has been going out with his friends and I get stuck at home. I need to get out and do something. I am getting a new car soon hopefully. Like soon as in this weekend. If all goes well that is.</span><span style="color:#ffff33;"> I'm pretty excited about that too. I desperately need a car that can fit taller people in it. Although it doesn't bother me just them. But I'm not trying to hate on tall people. So I need a taller car! I also have a mind boggling question. At least it's mind boggling for me. I seem to be the only one with a boyfriend anymore. Is this a bad thing? Cause I don't think it is except I have less in common with my friends. I don't get it all sometimes. Anyway</span><span style="color:#66ffff;">, I guess I didn't have as much to say as I thought I did. Although I would really like to figure out how to add pictures on here. Hmmm technology, somedays it just wins the battle. ~ Mia </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-112735912433551068?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1127279928603481352005-09-21T00:13:00.000-05:002006-01-18T01:47:56.350-06:00<a href="http://www.claimsmadesimple.co.uk/site_images/youpaypic3.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.claimsmadesimple.co.uk/site_images/youpaypic3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#33cc00;">So, once again it is late and that's when I'm updating. Oh, well. The past couple of weeks have been crazy. Last week was rush and then this week I have been working and attempting to do my homework. My car had a huge gas leak though so I had to get that fixed and it has seemingly been one thing or another. Rush didn't go as well as I had expected so I will be rushing again in the spring. Call me crazy but I REALLY want to be in a sorority. Right now I am so tired it isn't funny. I still have homework to do though. I have no desire to do it at the moment. I just spent the last hour messing with an ipod that is driving me crazy. What's worse is I didn't even get it fixed. GRRR to technology sometimes. Oh and can anyone tell me how to put pictures in my blog? So I guess that's all for right now. I really do need to get better at updating. I promise I will try. ~ Maria</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-112727992860348135?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1125134863519241162005-08-27T04:22:00.000-05:002006-01-03T01:53:17.493-06:00<a href="http://www.visitusa.com/wallpaper/night-12.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.visitusa.com/wallpaper/night-12.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;color:#cc66cc;">So, all my blogs seem to be at night. Eh oh well. I'm sitting here kinda bored actually. Well I mean I am bored but I have a lot on my mind too. I have this person in my life who is really sick and he doesn't have health insurance worth a damn. He's been in the hospital all week and I wish I could do more to help him. I have been thinking about trying to raise money for him but I don't know how to go about it. He's actually in need of a liver transplant. I don't know. It's all scary for me. I don't want anything happening to him. I just wish I could help, that I could do more. I feel helpless and I know it must be worse for him. I just don't know. My mind has been mulling over this stuff. But somehow I'm not even thinking. Just kinda here. . . I wish I knew what to do......</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-112513486351924116?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1124922868522351272005-08-24T17:27:00.000-05:002006-01-18T01:47:03.873-06:00<a href="http://school.discovery.com/clipart/images/back-to.gif"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://school.discovery.com/clipart/images/back-to.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ff0000;">Back to school and homework it is. Ah, the joys of life. At least on the upside my classes aren't as bad as I had thought they would be. So I may be able to actually have a life beyond studying this year. It's crazy. I will probably be working a lot though. Which I don't mind as much at Sgt... Pepper's. I like my boss people a lot. They are a lot of fun and it isn't really like work. Which makes it easier to go to work. ( If you are reading this you should totally go to Sgt.. Pepper's. It's behind the new McDonald's by the H.S.. Ask for directions if you need to! You won't regret it.) SO I'm considering a sorority cause I want to do more and have more fun this year. Aside from cleaning my house this year shouldn't be as hectic. Which I am more than looking forward to. I get to finish my tattoo Friday too! I can't wait. It will look awesome. I got to design it myself. Also does anyone know when the seasons start again for the WB? I feel so out of the loop! LOL. Anyway short blog today. I gotta do homework and clean and what not!</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-112492286852235127?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15130740.post-1124086040319926802005-08-15T00:48:00.000-05:002006-01-18T01:45:05.680-06:00<a href="http://www.shagtown.com/days/gifs/fathertime.gif"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.shagtown.com/days/gifs/fathertime.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"><span style="color:#3333ff;">Ever have one of those days when you wish your life wasn't your life? That's the kind of day I'm having today. It has been a hellish and nonstop ordeal of a day. Today was Ruben's birthday bash. I knew they would be drinking and all but . . . Let's start at the beginning. We woke up later than we were supposed to and I ended up running around cleaning the house and then he went with his brother to get some stuff to set out the outdoors. I didn't mind too much. So we ran our errands and were running late and all. Not a big deal though cause no one showed up until after 5 p.m. . Only one person showed up around 3 when it started. Granted he started Ruben off with shots instead of just beer. Well, while I was making Ruben's cake I realized he had gotten the wrong kind of icing. So I asked him to pick it up while he was out. Well he got vodka instead. Which we didn't need. For some reason drinking bothers me terribly with him. I don't care who else drinks but I get all tense and frustrated and angry like when he drinks. I don't know why. I wish I knew how to make it better. So he continued to drink and hang out with everyone outside while I sat inside keeping an eye on the house and trying to work on the cakes. So I finally decided to go get the right icing. While I was driving I was so upset with him starting off by getting drunk fast that I missed my stop completely. Too irritated to run around I just continued on to my Grammy's, hoping I could let off some steam there. I was there about 30 minutes. When I cam home Ruben was all mad and grouchy about me leaving. Then one of the girls that was here told me that the others were all talking about me and getting into my business. Which, needless to say didn't help my mood. Well Ruben yelled at me in the back room and then I stayed inside and avoided everyone mostly. WE were ok but not ok in a weird sort of way. Well then it got worse because he kept drinking heavy and fast. SO I hid all the hard liquor. Keep in mind Ruben and I both have to work at 2 places tomorrow. SO he is getting drunk off his butt and being a butt as well. I was just still so upset. Well it all ended in Ruben getting mad because I wouldn't get the liquor for him and he started yelling at me then I told everyone that Ruben was already drunk enough and that they needed to leave. Well it didn't help, they said ok but when I got back inside Ruben wanted to leave with them. So I stood in front of the door blocking it and Ruben's family talked me out of it of course. He went with his brother Albert. Who I don't mind so much but since then, which was about 9:30, I have been sitting contemplating if maybe I shouldn't be with Ruben cause I'm not making him happy if I can't handle his drinking. SO I have been sitting in the back room crying and listening to love songs, while trying to debate if I should tell Ruben that maybe he's right and we shouldn't be together after 3 years of what has been a 90% great relationship and 10% a little bit rocky. But now it seems that 10% is going to kick me in the ass. Maybe he needs to be able to drink and party freely more than we need this relationship. I am so confused and still crying cause I don't have a clue what to do. I love him and I can't stand thinking about ending us. But at the same time I am so frustrated with having to be the bad guy cause I don't like drinking and everyone he hangs out with are practically if not alcoholics. I'm stuck. I'm caught. I'm frustrated. I'm sad. And I'm still crying, lost now more than ever. . . .</span><span style="color:#330099;"> </span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/15130740-112408604031992680?l=beyondmyhorizon.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08182167035805291329noreply@blogger.com0